Its Nice To Be A Pika

Download or read book Spiders from Mars written by Diane Vallere and published by Polyester Press. This book was released on 2020-05-05 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Enjoy this humorous outer space mystery adventure with uniform lieutenant Sylvia Stryker and a supporting cast of quirky aliens by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Veronica Mars meets Star Trek! Amateur space sleuth Sylvia Stryker is at it again as she confronts corruption, greed, and space spiders on a new space trek. It's not easy being purple... All space sleuth Sylvia Stryker ever wanted was gainful employment in the space travel sector, but job security is the least of her concerns now that mentor-and-maybe-more, Neptune, is serving time for a crime he didn’t commit. Between her full time Moon Unit work and her side gig selling uniforms, Sylvia goes all in on getting Neptune out. But when a space pirate is murdered behind bars and Neptune is assumed guilty, Sylvia stands to lose him for more than the duration of his sentence. Proving Neptune’s innocence is more challenging than Sylvia expects thanks to his lifetime of accruing enemies. With the clock ticking down on Neptune’s freedom, Sylvia shifts decides to find the real killer. Faced with a corrupt galactic government and an overly-demanding boss, she turns to a shady team of freelancers for help, but the truth she unearths is a threat to the whole galaxy. With her faith in the system shaken to its core, Sylvia’s on her own for her most dangerous moon trek yet. Framed on a Moon Trek is the fourth quirky adventure in the Outer Space mystery series. If you like resourceful characters, unique settings, and outer space fun or read favorites like Charlaine Harris or Dakota Cassidy, then you’ll love Diane Vallere’s entertaining interstellar series. FRAMED ON A MOON TREK is a gripping fusion of cosmic mystery, thrilling adventure, and a touch of otherworldly romance. Don't miss your chance to join Sylvia Stryker on her most perilous and captivating mission yet. With breathtaking settings, heart-stopping action, and a cast of unforgettable characters, this page-turner will transport you to the farthest reaches of the up for a cosmic adventure that will ignite your imagination and leave you craving the next Outer Space mystery! Previously published as SPIDERS FROM MARS. “The book's mystery is well done with many twists and turns, and it succeeds at keeping the reader guessing.” – Reader “I raced to the end and loved every minute of the book. Now I'm going to read the whole series again! So much fun!” – Reader CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT: The first thing I did was have Neptune declared legally dead. It was an unlikely start to a rescue mission, but it was my first one, and Neptune’s incarceration made it difficult to ask him for advice. Neptune, of course, wasn’t dead. He was serving time in a minimum-security prison on Colony 1 after helping me hijack a privately owned spaceship. It was all in a day’s work for high-level security agents like us, but to the Federation Council, it was a violation of law, and somebody had to pay. Okay, fine, Neptune is a high-level security agent. I’m a lieutenant for an outer-space cruise ship. But I trained to be a security agent before a whole lot of crap changed the course of my life, and when Neptune gets out, I’m going to hit him up with a proposal he won’t be able to turn down. Partners. The best-dressed security team in the galaxy. (Not that Neptune cares all that much about uniforms, but I figure I should play to my strengths.) But that’s later, and this is now. Neptune’s been in prison for the past four months, and no doubt anything I say now you’ll miss because you’ll be comparing “the first thing I did” with “four months” and asking yourself, “Geez, Sylvia. The man is in prison. What took you so long?” I’ll tell you what took me so long. No matter how many intergalactic libraries you hack into, you’ll be hard-pressed to find an article titled “Tips for Busting Your Mentor Out of Jail.” What you will find are stories of corruption. Of people locked up for crimes they claim they haven’t committed. Stories about prisoner abuse, confessions from inmates on their death beds, and if you’re lucky, when your eyes are blurry in the middle of the night after weeks of combing through the Galaxy News archives, you’ll find an interview by a former warden with the information you need. If you have any ideas about breaking someone out of jail, forget it. It’s far easier to get a dead body out of prison than a live one. That’s where I got the idea. Drafting a prison break is easy-peasy once you have step one. I had step one. I didn’t waste time studying the language needed to write a suitable legal notice. I hacked an example from the local mortuary database, forged a signature, and filled in the blanks like a Mad Libs game. I carried my paperwork on board Moon Unit: Mars, the cruise ship where I work as the uniform manager, and kept it under my pillow until today, when a twenty-four-hour layover left me a window to file it at Federation Bureau of Affairs before continuing our journey. See? Easy-peasy. In the past, a Moon Unit would leave the space station and fly directly to our destination. Planets farther away required a combination of thrusters, propellant, wormholes, and gravity assists to get to their destinations. That created an environment where anyone on a Moon Unit couldn’t get off a Moon Unit until it got to where it was going, which would be fine under normal circumstances but not so much when there’s a murderer on board the ship. (You might think that’s an odd extreme, but the outer-space cruise industry is relatively new and unregulated, and a surprising number of incidents involving murder and cruises illustrated a hole in the legislation that defines such things.) After more than one such situation, Federation Council, started requiring all passenger-carrying ships to stop at Colony 1. The idea was to receive an inspection and clearance before embarking to be sure there were no side missions on anybody’s agenda. Colony 1 was where the Federation Council congress was located. It was also where politicians, rich folks who did bad things, and temporarily detained convicts were incarcerated. It was where Neptune had been taken after his arrest on Saturn, and after hacking into the prison system, I’d confirmed there were no plans to move him anytime soon. It was a warm day. Temperatures lingered over eighty degrees. The dry climate, combined with a uniform that regulated my body temperature, made it bearable. The uniform in question was a white Stealthyester® jumpsuit with blue trim. It covered everything but my head, which was protected by a bubble helmet that ensured I got breathable air. Lines of people filled the interior of the Federation Bureau of Affairs. Nobody actually liked making trips to the agency, but certain actions required the effort. I doubted my supervisors at the Moon Unit Corporation expected me to spend my day off filing paperwork, but that was just as well. While other members enjoyed the local tourist attractions, I had a window of relative anonymity to complete my covert business. A person with less to lose would look for the shortest line or the most efficient teller. I looked for the least threatening. The teller at the last window on the end was a petite, girl with a sweet disposition. She wore blue lipstick that matched her blue hair, both of which made her standard Federation uniform appear trendy. Her line was several people deep, but for what I was about to do, I considered her an easier mark than the curmudgeons behind windows three, four, and five. (Window six had a sign that said, “On Break.) For the next twenty minutes, the room was filled with little more than, “I’ll be assisting you today,” which must have been the tellers’ version of “May I help you?” in a department store. The responses were either inaudible or ridiculously boring. After four missing person cases, a name change, and a requisition for early retirement payment, I tuned them out. Eventually, I reached the front of the line. “Name?” the blue-haired young woman asked. “Sylvia Stryker.” “I’m Tulsa. I’ll be assisting you today.” She pushed her blue bangs away from her forehead. “If I get hit on by one more guy pretending to file a missing person report for his ex-girlfriend, I’m going to start wearing a fake wedding band.” She grinned. “Whatcha got?” “Death notification.” I passed my signed (forged) and notarized (official) (-ish) documents under the phaser-proof glass while the woman checked my credentials. She held my ID card over a scanner and turned her head away while a bright light pulsed underneath the surface. She handed the ID card back, glanced over my paperwork, and made a sympathetic sound. “Your friend had quite an accident,” Tulsa said. It hadn’t been easy to come up with a plausible method for Neptune to have died while in prison, and I’d discounted any of the more gruesome ways so I wouldn’t have nightmares picturing them. Reality dictated that I needed some details to sell the fib, so I fabricated a story involving his trademark military attire and a cargo-net malfunction. “It’s sad. If only he’d been wearing his regulation uniform, none of this would have happened.” (Neptune never did give my job as uniform manager the proper respect.) Tulsa smiled what I guessed was one of many pitiful looks she passed off during the day. I studied her face—mouth turned down, blue lips pursed, chin dropped—and thought about how often I’d seen that expression in my life. I learned at an early age that people were generous when it came to pity, but pity didn’t pay the bills. Sometimes, when the circumstances were right, lying, cheating, and bartering did. (Pity helped make it easier to fool people, though, so it wasn’t a hundred percent unwelcome.) Tulsa’s expression changed from pitying to judgmental. “You’re taking his death very well,” she said suspiciously. Yes. Right. I inhaled deeply, exhaled, and pretended to choke back tears before raising my eyes to meet hers. “It hasn’t been easy,” I said. “When I first heard, I lost my mind. I couldn’t function.” I glanced to either side and dropped my voice. “My doctor prescribed an antianxiety drug to help me cope. I probably shouldn’t still be taking it after four months, but it hurts so much, knowing he’s gone.” “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” She stretched her hand out from behind the phaser-proof glass and tapped the back of mine. A small blue lightning bolt that matched her hair and lipstick was tattooed on the back of her wrist. “You’ll get over him in time,” she said. “When my husband died, I was on medication for a year. It got so bad, I—” She seemed to realize she was on the verge of confessing deep, dark secrets to a stranger, and she cut herself off. “If you need help getting off the medication, let me know. I entered a recovery program on Mars. It was effective until—well, if you need assistance, I can help you find it.” I forced a smile and squeezed the tips of her fingers in solidarity. Truth? I wasn’t on any drug. I was on a mission, and that meant every person I encountered was either an enemy or an ally. I learned that at Space Academy before dropping out, and experience had only illustrated the lesson in real time. Most people go through life exchanging pleasantries and being polite, never stopping to listen to what others are saying. This isn’t one of those learn-to-listen lectures that promises you can improve your marriage or gain trust from your employees. It’s a fact: Let people tell you more than you ask. File it all away for later. You never know what you’ll need when you initiate a mission. The only thing you can control is knowing who to go to when you come up against something unexpected. I finished at the window. Now to wait out the natural news cycle. In the next couple of minutes, my paperwork would be fed into a scanner. Words would be extracted, plugged into a news template, and dumped into a database of stories. At the same time the stories were streamed onto computer screens, they would appear on a marquee that wrapped around the perimeter of Federation Council. Somewhere between “Space Pirate Sabotage on Saturn” and “Vandalism on Venus” would be Neptune’s death: “Blacklisted Commander Turned Security Expert Deceased After Cargo-Net Accident in Prison Storage Unit.” Once the information found its way into the prison computers, Neptune’s name and history would be extinguished. It would be as though he spontaneously combusted. If Neptune had made friends on the inside, they might be a complication, but Neptune wasn’t the friend-making type. I guess that’s why loners are loners; they like the simple life. I wasn’t without experience when it came to arrest protocol. When my dad was arrested, the news traveled so fast our dry ice farm went from being a respected supplier to a wasteland of rubbish almost overnight. We were social pariahs. After the council threatened to shut us down, we were left with a fate even worse: invisibility. If I could render Neptune invisible inside the prison, I’d have a shot at getting him out. A steady stream of visitors flowed to and from the building. Efforts had been made to make the air and surface quality of Colony 1 hospitable to the largest majority of those visitors, and in addition to the synthetic oxygen mix that a local team of chemists had developed and sold to the government, there were gravity bars where people congregated and shops to fulfill travel and tchotchke needs. Culinary spots had popped up, too, and now a visit to Colony 1 could net you the best cup of coffee in the universe. On principle, I drank tea. The courtyard outside Federation Bureau of Affairs was active. Vendors with small carts sold snacks to employees on break and visitors who’d made the trip for personal reasons. I peeled off the lid to my hot tea and people-watched, letting the beverage cool. It wasn’t that people-watching was entertaining. It was training. Most people existed in their own worlds, unaware of what their actions and outfits said about them. I considered this an ongoing part of my security training, being able to assess a crowd, identify threats and allies, and build character profiles based purely on observation. It wasn’t a lesson I learned from my security training education or from Neptune during the short time he tutored me. I came up with this one myself. I tested the air quality with my portable molecule tester and, when the reading came back with a positive result, removed my helmet and set it on the bench next to me. I blew on the surface of my tea and then sipped. The beverage was flavored with a hint of zinnia, the most prevalent flower in outer space, leaving behind a lingering sweet note to counter the bitter bite of the tea. I swirled it around over my tongue then swallowed, closing my eyes while the hot liquid slid down the back of my throat. It wasn’t usual for me to indulge in the cost of a cup of brewed tea, but it also wasn’t usual for me to spend my day at Federation Bureau of Affairs having someone declared dead. It seemed this was as good a time as any to try to blend in and act like everybody else. The news banner around Federation Council Headquarters blinked three times in rapid succession, indicating a reboot of the system. This would be followed up with updated news stories and crime reports. The system was automated after Tulsa fed my forms into the computer but depended largely on the reports ahead of it. I was tense, needing to see the news of Neptune’s demise proclaimed to the world before counting my mission as complete. The banner of news started streaming. “Record-Breaking Temperatures Expected on Mars” * * * “Federation Council Vote on Proposed Law Changes in Next Twenty-Four Hours” * * * “Drug Epidemic Reaches Dangerous Levels” * * * “Prisoner Murdered while Serving Life Sentence” * * * “Animal Shelters Reach Peak Capacity” * * * The tension within me ratcheted up. Prisoner murdered while serving a life sentence? That wasn’t right. I sat my tea on the bench and checked my documents on my portable device. The language was clear. Neptune died while unloading cargo from storage. A regulation uniform could have saved his life. It was an unfortunate accident that could have been avoided. No mention of murder. No mention of anything suspicious. I’d purposely kept it as bland as possible to not attract attention. Murder attracted attention. The word “murder” was charged with everything I wanted to avoid. A freak accident could happen. It could be brushed under the rug. It wouldn’t cause anybody to do anything differently. But a murder propelled all sorts of people into action, and a report of a murder would certainly lead to a body that was very much alive. I stood and juggled my helmet, my cup of tea, and my portable document device. The tea fell and splattered by the toe of my boots. Someone called out my name and I shielded my eyes and searched for the source. “Sylvia! Over here!” I zeroed in on the source. It was Tulsa, the teller from Federation Bureau of Affairs. She was shorter than she’d appeared when she filed my paperwork. She came at me so fast her blue hair blew away from her face. “I was hoping you were still here,” she said. She put one hand on her side and bent toward it. “Side stich. Ow.” I pointed at the streaming news banner. “There’s a mistake—” “No mistake,” she said. She straightened and grabbed my arm. “Come with me.” I followed her behind the building to a small garden. The rocky surface area of the colony had been carved away, and small succulents that survived in dry climates covered the ground. There was no way they’d grow on their own, and I wasted a brief thought condemning the council for wasting resources on the beautification of their property and not improving the quality of life for residents under their government. “There was a problem with your paperwork,” Tulsa said. “It was rejected from the system because of duplicitous intel.” “There’s a mistake. Neptune wasn’t murdered. He was in an accident. An accident,” I repeated. “It’s no mistake,” Tulsa said. “Check your device.” I tapped the screen and swiped through pages of reports that had been filed that morning. My report wasn’t there, but the headline I’d seen streaming around the perimeter of Federation Council was. “Prisoner Murdered While Serving Life Sentence” read the headline. Underneath, in the body of the report, were the details, and that’s when I knew my plan to break Neptune out had gotten complicated exponentially. The murder victim wasn’t Neptune. The suspect was. For fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, UFO, The Orville, Galaxy Quest, Lost in Space, and The Jetsons. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.